anger management

So, my mum and I had one of our increasingly frequent yelling matches earlier. This usually concludes with me storming out and slaming the door to my room. Then one of 2 things happens, I stay in my room and stew for a bit before calming down and doing something in my room (read, text, movie) or getting some food, or I'll go to my room, get changed, grab my stuff and leave the house. I usually walk to town because there really isn't anything else interesting that I could walk to. Option #2 usually wins out over #1.

I find that the whole process is quite therapeutic. By the time I've finished the 20 or so minute walk I'm a lot calmer. Then since I'm in town I wander about the shops and inevitably buy things. After I've bought some things, I'm a lot happier and then I walk home. These excursions are generally quite short and only take a few hours (if you call that short). During the walk home, I'll start to question the necessity of my purchases, regret some purchases and consider returning some.

Especially now that I'm on my summer holiday, these trips are increasing in frequency. Although this method seems quite effective - since I return home happy and don't pick fights with whoever is in line of fire, I think I need a more cost effective way to channel my anger or any other pent up emotions. I say other emotions because I have a not so great way of dealing with other emotions, too, like when I get angry and sad and teary, then I either stay in my room and yell at anyone who comes near me or walk out without my phone and keep walking wherever. Or when I'm sad sad I cry uncontrollably and find somewhere where I can't be found. The common factor in these are that I either yell at undeserving people or walk out. And the anger one will cost me a lot if I get angry frequently.

Some people paint or eat chocolate and ice cream or go running or do some other exercise when they get angry or sad but I don't know. I do all of these things when I'm happy and they make me calm so if I did them when I'm angry or sad then I don't know, it'd taint it somehow. That's why when I broke up with my ex I refused to eat ice cream or chocolate when I was sad. Because it's a happy thing so if I do it when I'm sad then I'll be sad if I do it when I'm happy. Well that's the theory, anyways. I know, I don't really make a lot of sense, even on a good day.