ignorance

I'd started a post, yesterday now, and I'll probably finish it later today, when I get up, after I've slept. But I was suddenly thinking about something and wanted to hash it. What better way to do that than to post it on the internet? I know, smart thinking.

There's the saying: ignorance is bliss. I was contemplating this and I think back to when I was really young. Think, just starting-school-and-learning-to-read-and-write young. Back then we (I assume) took everything at face value. What our parents and teachers and mostly, older siblings said was the truth because we didn't know about lying and untruths and half-truths back then, and, it seemed to us that people didn't have a reason for telling us anything other than the truth. How could our innocent selves be able to ask any difficult questions or know that an action was wrong if done by someone older and seemingly more knowledgeable?

And then I think to now, I tend to say a lot of things flippantly, not realising that I'm being rude or offensive or actually really mean it or don't mean it - I'm impulsive and don't often think things through beforehand. I remember saying to my friends quite a lot that I would have preferred not to know a lot of things. Some were more important than others, and yes, some small things probably aren't imperative to know. For example: I was sitting at a picnic bench chatting with, well talking at, my friend and then she tells me she watched a spider crawl into my mouth and I ate it, unknowingly. In that situation, yes, I would've rather not been told, it's not like I could've done anything about it and there really weren't any devasting consequence (we live in the UK with non-venomous spiders). Or when I've been out and know that I look a little (a lot) worse for wear then avoiding a mirror is probably better until I've showered etc. But then, also in some more important issues, isn't it sometimes better not to know? I can't think of an example that I've personally experienced but I read this is in a book (fictional romance novel): a person dies, and only one person knows a terrible secret about them and the person (that's living) decides to preserve the memory of the dead by never revealing the secret, despite how significant it is. I'm not sure how much I agree with that, but it's never really happened to me so I don't think I can really decide yet. Some things like that, I think it depends on the circumstances and the people involved.

On the other hand, there is also a saying that information is power. I agree with this, think about the law. If you know about various laws and a person's rights then you can fight better equipped. But if you didn't realise that you were entitled to higher pay (minimum wage) for example, then you would continue working for less than you deserve and the employer would get away with their exploitation and illegal practise.

But then again, along the same path as the earlier parts of this post, are there times when information is destructive? In these circumstances, information is still power, but it holds the power to hurt you instead of to help.

Despite this though, I've always been a very curious question - I asked exessive amounts of 'why's' growing up and still dig for every little detail. I think this is to do with my wanting to be in control so to do that I need to know every angle of the situation. This has happened a few times in recent years, even with my friends telling me not to and knowing myself that nothing good could come of it, I would still talk to my ex to find out exactly why we couldn't stay friends when that's what we agreed to. In all of times I've done this (not all in the situation, but many similar ones) I've always walked in knowing it was a bad idea, my friends telling me not to and come out feeling bad and knowing I should've left well enough alone. I seem to be a sort of masochist though, I need to find out every painful detail, I look through sales racks to see if something expensive I've just bought has been discounted, I read the end of the book and ruin the middle chunk and plenty more.

I'm sure there's more I could say and it sure sounds like I was going somewhere with that last bit but I've just drawn a complete blank and since it's past 2am I think it's reasonable that I'm losing coherency.